Creative Writing Commentary

Creative Writing Commentary

My style model is in the genre of social issues and is presented as a blog. The piece is about stigma that surrounds mental health and the writer aims to raise awareness of the impacts of the condition. The reason this appealed to me was because the writer is writing about their father who suffers from this and it reminded me of my grandfather who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. Therefore, I decided to create an article informing people about dementia, as well as speaking about my own personal experiences; also suggesting ways in which I believe family members of sufferers can help. The article would most likely appear in either a blog about social issues, such as the one like my style model or perhaps in a leaflet located in a doctor’s waiting room. The reason I wrote this text was to create awareness for the disease itself and also perhaps provide reassurance for family members of sufferers that they aren’t alone. I wrote it for mostly people who either are caring for someone with dementia or the relatives of sufferers, however also people who want to find out more about the disease and how they can help e.g. by fundraising.

Throughout my article I have used examples of field-specific lexis, such as ‘sufferer’ and ‘memory loss’ which are both linked to dementia which reassures the reader that what they are reading is reliable. My style model has also done this, for example with lexis such as ‘mental health’ and ‘distress’. As well as this I refer to ‘my grandfather’ throughout. The personal pronoun ‘my’ shows the readers that I, as the writer, have experienced the effects of the disease on someone I love – making the tone of the article as a whole more personal. When I am explaining where he lived and ‘memory lane’ I used a range of specific imagery. By using adjectives such as ‘old’ and ‘quaint’ it shows that I have been there myself and it also creates a clear scene for the reader to think about. My style model also uses this technique, for example when explaining their village with nouns such as ‘street’ and ‘cliffs’.  

Throughout the article, I have used a range of both high-frequency and low-frequency lexis, for example I call my granddad ‘grandfather’ throughout which is quite low-frequency as many people often shorten the word to ‘grandpa’ or ‘gramps’. This gives the article more of a formal tone, however I have also used examples of high-frequency as well to help make the article more relatable and to get across that I have been through it myself and that I’m not just a reporter – what I am saying is authentic and genuine.

Furthermore, I have used a range of different syntax. I have mainly used declaratives and exclamatory syntax, which is just like my style model, for example the writer states ‘It affects one in four and nobody is immune’. My style model also uses a range of statistics which I have incorporated into my piece as it is mostly informative. I have used declarative when providing information and facts, for example ‘Affecting over 46.8 million people a year; dementia is truly a global health issue’ and exclamatory when referring to my own experiences, for example ‘…and we all know how much grandma and granddad like to talk about the past!’. I have written my article in the present tense when providing information – to almost emphasise the fact that dementia is an on-going issue happening now, however when speaking about myself and my experiences I have written in past tense.

I have organised my article in similar sized paragraphs throughout, each containing a different piece of information or experience, however my last paragraph is only two sentences long as I wanted to make an impact on the reader as it is short and makes a statement – much like my style model has done. I have used this layout as it looks organised and the reader can see what is in each paragraph – as for some I have used sub-headings. This means that if the reader only wants to know a certain piece of information, such as ‘What is Dementia?’ then they don’t have to read the whole thing, they can just get what they wanted out of it. As there is no particular order in how the information and experiences go, I can’t really say that my article is in chronological order; however it flows nicely from one paragraph to the other.

Overall, both the style model and original writing piece employ factual information as well as personal experiences. To create different representations however, I have written mine about a different disease that is personal to me. Throughout my style model there is use of field-specific lexis, high-frequency and low-frequency lexis as well as specific imagery which is mirrored in my original writing piece so the subject of dementia is represented clearly and in a way which will hopefully spread awareness for the disease and encourage readers to do what they can to help.

Creative Writing Coursework

Dementia: Do we know enough?

Affecting over 46.8 million people a year; dementia is truly a global health issue. In the UK alone, there are 850,000 sufferers and by the year 2025 this number is expected to rise to over one million.

Unfortunately, my grandfather suffered from the disease, so therefore I feel very strongly about getting awareness for it as a whole. Sadly, my grandfather passed not long ago, but although it was devastating, I was grateful that his dementia never developed into the later stages; as I know some aren’t so lucky. At my grandfather’s home, I saw the disease affect other people in ways you couldn’t imagine; and not only that but I saw the effect it had on the family members who didn’t know what to do to help. People need to be educated - particularly relatives of sufferers - about what the disease actually does to a person and how it affects them personally as well as what they can do to help. 

What is dementia?

Dementia is not actually a disease in itself – it is a word that describes a group of symptoms that occur when brain cells stop working properly. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia, which often develops slowly over several years; which is what my grandfather had suffered with. At first, he was repeating himself in conversation and forgetting recent events. But as it developed it got worse and worse and lead to things like leaving the oven on, forgetting where he parked the car and worst of all, forgetting to eat. This is when it became clear to us that he would be safer in a dementia home where people were available to help him 24/7. Although this was an extremely hard decision for my mum and uncle to make; it turned out to be one of the best.

The place where he lived was called ‘The Grove’. It provided a safe environment that was adapted to the unique needs of residents with dementia, so they could enjoy as much independence and mental and physical stimulation as possible. One of the things that stood out at The Grove, was a feature called ‘Memory Lane’. This is a model of a 1950’s village to help residents remember their past. It has an old, traditional pub and a quaint post office and greengrocers. In them are found props from the past, such as cigars, oxo adverts, ration books and old chocolate bar wrappers. This was such an effective way to take my grandfather’s mind off of everything and just to make him smile and think of his past life.

Looking through old photographs and old videos is perfect to do with a dementia sufferer as memories come flooding back to them… and we all know how much grandma and grandad like to talk about the past! My mum made my grandfather a book of his life; he loved it. I think that family members of sufferers should be encouraged to make one, as not only does it lift the spirits of the sufferer themselves but also the rest of the family as it reminds them what a great life that they’ve had before they were diagnosed. However, life shouldn’t stop at diagnosis! Taking them out to different places and going to different events in the early stages is a perfect way to keep the sufferer happy. Personally, my grandfather never knew that he had been diagnosed as we thought it’d be the best way and would prevent him from getting confused. So, taking him out for a hot chocolate and a cake, to see a local play, or even just taking the dog for a walk, are all ways to make it seem like life is just carrying on as normal. 

What is already being done?

Compared to other diseases, Dementia research is hugely underfunded by the government – this must stop. The National Institutes of Health spends over $6 billion a year on cancer research, over $4 billion on heart disease research and over $3 billion on HIV/AIDS research. But it spends only $480 million on Alzheimer's research. Alzheimer’s Research UK is a charity increasingly revealing the causes of Dementia and the steps that can be taken to prevent or slow its advance. Another charity; The Alzheimer’s Society, does an enormous amount to help those suffering with the disease and also the family members, however they rely heavily on money from the public. This is another way you can help – joining a walk/run or a fundraiser to help raise money for these charities; so they can carry out the work that needs to be done to become closer to tackling this awful disease.

Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease that affects so many throughout the world. Hopefully one day there will be a cure; but for now, we need to focus on being positive for the sufferers and continuing to give them the best life possible.

Does grammar matter? - Andreea S. Calude

Ted Talks Lesson 
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